Finding the Purpose 

I’m left here wondering ” What was the purpose?”Although I get angry… and trust me it can be pure rage. I’m not asking this question in anger. For over 19 yrs I have been asking myself this question. 

For somethings I already know the answer-

“What was the purpose of me becoming a young mother?”- The answer, well simply to save me from myself! A curious free soul, fueled with pain and anger. I became grounded and able to understand I was dependent upon.

 “What was the purpose of looking for answers?” Well that was to show me not to second guess myself and trust my gut. The time and tears I spend researching and looking for the “something”. I never for one second felt bad about my child being different. In fact is was the total opposite! I knew I was failing my child. Here was this beautiful gift , who was getting lost, frustrated and unheard in our world. The more time that went by with not having an answer for the “something ” brought back a lot of my internal rage. This time though I used it to fuel me. It kept me going. I knew I had to help my son, I just needed to learn how. 

“What was the purpose of giving up a job I loved and homeschooling?” This was a hard decision to make. We struggled financially, but it needed to be done. I needed my son to see how intelligent he truly was, and what he was capable of. We needed a timeout… a time regroup and understand what he needed to be taught without all of the distractions. We both learned so much about each other durning these years, and made a great team. I would do it all over again, it was worth it. 

“What was the purpose of Aspergers in my life?” I know some of this answer. I know it has taught me to slow down. My outlook has forever been changed for the better. I know that this question has more for me to find and also challenge me to fight. 

“What was the purpose of me losing my son?” I don’t know this answer, in fact I haven’t a clue! This one hurts to bad… but I know my son had a purpose and that gives me hope. I know as much as we are hurting there is a purpose to fulfill. I will continue to research and let my pain and anger fuel me. I don’t know how, but I will continue his journey. I feel it my gut😊
“When Children Can NOT learn its time to Change the way we Teach”

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