Wearing a Mask

How many kids do you have? This used to be such a simple question to ask and answer. How should I answer this now? I could never just say 2 .. to me that would be saying my son never existed….If I say 3, I know what the next question is going to be. It’s usually ,”What are their ages?”This simple conversation that we have with our day to day people is one that pains me to my core. It’s not meant to be harmful in anyway, I understand that. I don’t take it as such. I just can’t escape the piercing pain that it inflicts. So sometimes I have to where a mask . Smile through the pain. Ugh, being polite can really be painful sometimes.

One of my favorite things about Alfred was that he told it like it was. If he didn’t like my outfit or haircut.. well he told me. If the dinner I made wasn’t up to par.. well I knew about that to. Again he wasn’t trying to rude… in fact I had to teach him what rude was. He was just simply answering the question asked. One year in 3rd grade Alfred’s teacher was having a hard time keeping him focused on the class lesson. So instead of struggling, his teacher just went and asked him. ” Alfred why are you not paying attention to me today?”….. His response,” Well you just haven’t been saying anything interesting today.”

Yes we had a good laugh.. and I am so truly thankful for the teachers who not only got “it” , but more importantly understood him.

As the years went on Alfred was still a,”Tell it as it was “type of guy, but he learned how to soften and understand his effects. So I guess in a way the world had him wear a mask too. To know him was a blessing , to be loved by him was a gift, to be his Mother was an honorđź’™

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