Why I Write…


Parenthood doesn’t come with a rule book. You somewhat just learn as you go. You have successes and also make mistakes along the way. I’m learning the same is true with grief. Not everyone grieves the same way. There is no perfect way to grieve. It’s just there. I am choosing to not write through my grief, because let’s face it, you never get past it. So I’m choosing to write in my grief. 

The day of my sons Alfred’s service,  I didn’t want to just go through the motions. I needed his voice to matter, but I also needed my goodbye to be felt by him. This is why I decided to speak. Here are the words I shared that night…

“You have been my greatest teacher and I know I still have a lot to learn.

I have known since my eyes first met yours that you were meant for something special. I tried my best to explain the way of this world, but enjoyed your view better.

When you didn’t know how to place the right words together, I was your voice..When your pencil couldn’t write fast enough, I was your scribe.., When you thought you couldn’t… It was my job to show you that you could.

I would love to share all the many stories that we laugh and laugh about. And all the crazy as we say “Alfanizums ” that we all loved, but that would just be to hard to do.
If you have one please share, if not tonight then someday soon!
It has been nothing less of an honor to be his Mother.. I will continue his journey that he was meant to do, because together we moved mountains….. I love you my sweet boy 💙”….
I’m finding a way to keep my promise to him, one page and new idea at a time. Alfred was a special and unique character.  With a beautiful soul. I have many more stories to share. 

“Sometimes those who challenge you the most, teach you the best”💕

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