Joshuwater

Today marks 8 months since the loss of my oldest son Alfred. Although we as family all lost him, my pain is my own. I can not compare my loss to my husbands who lost his son. I also can not compare what the loss of my sibling must feel like for my Joshua and Evan. So I can not speak for them, but I can understand, observe and love unconditionally.

Now Alfred always knew how to talk, but only did when he really needed something. He also referenced his Dad and myself as ” Babe ” &”Hon” until about age 4. It was perfectly normal for me to hear ” Babe I need more please!” Come from my 2 yr olds mouth. My response would always be, ” Yes Al, but my name is Mommy.”🙂

I remember the first time Alfred got to meet his brother Joshua. My husband placed a newborn Josh into the arms of a newly 2 yr old Al. We asked him who is this and he said ” it’s my Joshuwater💕”.  Never have 2 children been such Night and Day, but they were such a pair. I don’t know if people are aware of how special a sibling, especially one closest in age is to a sibling with special needs. In my heart I know that my Joshua was hand picked to be Alfred’s brother. No they didn’t always get along, but Josh took on the role that no one ever needed to ask him too. He was Al’s friend, support, protector and also a teacher. The 2 of them fought but they also knew how to make each other laugh. Most of the time without even using words. Josh always knew when Al needed that extra push , or a laugh to change a bad mood… and even to be told when he was just being a jerk..lol. It truly was amazing to watch. I was never given any greater gifts in life then my 3 boys. I am forever thankful that my Alfred was given his “Joshuwater”.  ❤