I don’t really like crying in front of people. Not because I’m being tough or strong, I have just always been this way. I tend to cry or should I say have my emotional outburst while I’m driving alone me in the car, walking or while in the shower. Since dealing with the loss of my son Al , these moments tend to sneak up on me and can get very upsetting sometimes even filled with rage. I can not control it and the emotions just come pouring out. It was durning my last outburst that this thought came to me… ” Is this how Alfred felt durning a meltdown?”… Now it had been years since Al had a full out meltdown, but I can remember those moments very well. It’s not something that gets talked about a lot, but they do happen. Yes they can be long moments of anger or crying. Or they can be ” not that bad” moments. I remember with Al we called them Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde moments. I could see my child standing in front of me, but it was like a switch was clicked and here was this other person. A meltdown is by no means in any way shape or form a temper tantrum. The positive I took away from each one, was that I was learning. We were learning together. I learned how to look for signs that he was overwhelmed or stressed. I learned to give him breaks. Al learned how to voice that he needed a break. Slowly the meltdown moments became less and less. When they did happen we learned how to work on what needed to be done to keep things from getting to that that point. While in the moment no there was nothing fun going on, but each moment has taught me so much. For that I am thankful and always will be💙

I love quotes…. this is one that has always touch my soul…

” I thought I would have to teach my child about the world. It turns out I have to teach the world about my child.


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